That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
