theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Come on in and take your pants off
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