Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is wine microwaveable?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize