i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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