hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
