thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize