i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
