Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
