My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I will pee on everything he values.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
