Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
