Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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