yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
