I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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