she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
