She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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