Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i came on her dog
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
