i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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