i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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