i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
