I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
