haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
