woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
