Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
