No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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