my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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