we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
