I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize