Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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