Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
