I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
