someone threw a dead crab at me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
