You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
