so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
