I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
