Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
