and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
