Are we in a gay sports bar?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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