i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
