so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
