Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
