fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
