im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize