so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
