Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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