oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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