You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just cut my nipple shaving
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
