she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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