Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
