1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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