we have officially lost it.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
