My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
