OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we're making bets on your personal life
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
