Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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