So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
