Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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