I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
