I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
