He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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