I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
