Me too!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
