It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
