were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
