Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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