Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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